What do sociopaths fear

In most cases, it's a description blithely tossed out to label a person as being either hateful or hate-worthy. The same applies to the term "psychopath" which to many people suggests a sociopath who is simply more dangerous, like a mass murderer. Sociopathy and psychopathy are considered to be two types of APD. While the terms "sociopath" and "psychopath" are often used interchangeably, each has its own clear lines of distinction that can be broadly described.

While psychopaths are classified as people with little or no conscience, sociopaths do have a limited, albeit weak, ability to feel empathy and remorse. Psychopaths can and do follow social conventions when it suits their needs.

Sociopaths are more likely to fly off the handle and react violently whenever they're confronted by the consequences of their actions. Willem H. Martens argues in his infamous article "The Hidden Suffering of the Psychopath" that psychopaths do at times suffer from emotional pain and loneliness.

Most have lead hurt-filled lives and have an inability to trust people, but like every human being on the planet, they, too, want to be loved and accepted.

However, their own behavior makes this extremely difficult, if not impossible, and most are aware of this. Some feel saddened by the actions they are unable to control because they know it isolates them from others even more. While it's common to think of sociopaths and psychopaths as being inherently dangerous, this is more a construct of a TV drama than a true reflection of the disorder. Violence, while certainly possible, is not an inherent characteristic of either sociopathy or psychopathy.

With that being said, people with APD will often go to extraordinary lengths to manipulate others, whether it be to charm, disarm, or frighten them, in order to get what they want. When psychopaths do become violent , as in the case of Jeffrey Dahmer, they're just as likely to hurt themselves as others. There are some who say that "sociopaths are made and psychopaths are born," but this characterization may be too far broad.

While it is true that psychopathy is believed to have genetic components perhaps caused by the underdevelopment of the parts of the brain that regulate emotion and impulsiveness , there are clearly other factors that contribute to the behavioral disorder. Many have had parents who were substance abusers and who failed to provide parental guidance or attention.

Sociopaths lack empathy like psychopaths, but they do tend to feel anger and stress like everyone else. Essentially, this means if a psychopath is controlling you, you probably won't notice. They'll be able to explain away any strange behaviour, and never get upset if you confront them. A sociopath will have more of a temper, so you may be less likely to trust them from the start.

This is why psychopaths can make great con artists. They can mimic other's behaviour and be charismatic and charming. A sociopath's plan, on the other hand, will be much more obvious — especially when they become enraged.

There are ways to handle people with antisocial personality disorder, whether they are a sociopath or a psychopath. If you think you are a target, make sure to maintain your boundaries , and don't ever try to hold them accountable for their actions. Research has shown that psychopaths and sociopaths are wired differently , so the best thing to do for your own mental health is accept you can't change them and distance yourself.

Grow up, walk the straight and narrow and get your child back. Then MOVE!! Have you ever heard a sociopath vent? Many sociopath have an brief periods of a depression like state when they evaluate their life and realize that nothing matters to them. Nothing in this world really matters at all actually. They feel as though nothing has value. Very intense stages of passion, or anger, but as soon as the sparks turn into something less passionate they turn to their true careless selves.

Sociopaths will do things on impulses that are so spontaneous nobody in the right mind would take these risks because they know the consequences. I know these things because… I am a sociopath. I have been my whole life. I remember being a child sitting in the corner of my bedroom looking at the sky and thinking how pointless life is and how there is no meaning to it, that emotions are false tricks of an overactive brains that humans have, but really we are no different than any other species that evolved from coincidence of different gasses and chemical compounds forming together to create the perfect atmosphere for life, but what if that never happened?

It has no meaning. Just like when you squish a bug, do you think about the fact you just killed a living organism? That being said I will make it clear that I would never physically harm another human being or animal.

I realized that even though none of life actually matters the fact is that I along with every other animal on this planet has this opportunity called life so make the most out of it. But, I am an empty shell. Sleeping in a car, working 80 hours a week to keep myself from being bored and losing it.

I HATE being this way.. My current boss has a degree in psychology and he actually said to me one day that I show serious signs of being a sociopath because I was able to lie to his face, and convince him, when he has had years of schooling and military training to spot body language. I of course laughed my boss of and told him he was funny, and created another lie to explain why I lied and I just must have been convincing, but I hate being this person.

Instead I just fill a hole with booze or temporary lust, and it makes my life crazy I admit. I am a sociopath, absolutely, but never have I had intentions to hurt others even though I definately could have if others have known the things I have done. But for those people who are looking for advice about people who are sociopaths, you have 2 options, do what they want and make them happier even though they can be leeches and suck the happiness out of you, or get them out of your life.

I think, for anyone in a relationship that thinks they are possibly dealing with a sociopath, if you really want to get over him, you have to tell him you want nothing to do with him anymore. Also, they need to find another person before they leave you alone.

I accept that. Why do you just be so destructive? What is the point of that? Why be so hurtful? What is the point? He knew that I knew who he was. I accepted him, despite all his special brand of crazy. But the need for control, was counter productive, it made me boring, made our own lives, empty and shallow.

I ended up depressed, what was the point of that? He sucked the life out of me. Now I am sure he is sucking the life out of someone else. Well of course he is. I just laughed. I have never read anything like this I found your honesty about you dishonesty fascinating. I would like to hear more as I have been seeing a sociopath for over a year hence why I am on this site. You are still with him Julia? Read through the posts written in and early It explains what they are doing, if you are on facebook, I update there daily too.

I kind of feel bad for the those in relationships with the female sociopath thinking that they are just being abused. My question is— Does this need for stimulation and power ever go away or lessen?

Or does it worsen? I would just like your opinion as an experienced sociopath. What the hell is your deal you overly dramatic bitches?

Playing victim? You got yourself in that situation. Your choice to believe them or not. And to shed light on why they make people feel awful is really simple once you think about it. Like Steve said; we feel awful. The ones who do the killing, the abusing, the rumors and lies, the torture. The high functioning ones, who are mainly just pleasure seekers through alcohol and drugs or risk taking, and maybe experience occasional rages and manipulate people, do it to feel something.

Being an empty shell is a miserable existence. But then we feel nothing. It feels mostly numb, but you can feel a faint sharp, pain, and you have to stimulate it to get the feeling back, otherwise it stays numb and that small sharp pain gets sharper. Life cursed us.

But she avoided all attempts to visit a phycologist except for 1 or 2 visit never more then an excuse was made for no more visits. While knowing you will have to drop this persona in the future as it could be addictive. I therefore take it that you are a sociopath? Send me an email datingasociopath hotmail. I think I may involved with someone who is either a sociopath or a psychopath. She started accusing me of cheating for no reason at all and eventually became violent during our relationship.

Nothing is ever her fault. And she went as far as biting me. And was not discreet about it. Bit me and left teeth marks on my face.

Also, according to her, she has a laundry list full of medical problems but only one that I ever saw an actual diagnosis for. Is there anyone that can give me some insight?

Hi Layla, I cannot diagnose somebody here, but what I want you to think about, is how does this person make you feel about you? Neither does it sound like she is treating you well. I think these questions are more important than who she is? It is how she makes you feel about you! You can see that this relationship is not good, or healthy for you. Eventually it will break you down, damage your self esteem and respect for yourself.

This person sounds more bi-polar than anything. Sociopaths and I just dated one , are generally more intelligent and less violent. They typically will use more mind games. They would usually never do something that deliberate and impulsive. Look at the tell tail signs of a sociopath, and you will know if you were dating one. If she has emotions, quite simply put… she is not a sociopath. When you guys first met did she play with her hair, give eye contact, or laugh at your jokes?

Was she genuine? Or in hindsight did all of this seem like it was fixed? Are you being used? Sociopath or nor. I broke up with a guy I firmly believe is a sociopath.

He was pleading with me to give him another chance, start over, that he loved me, etc. The tears were fake…. I fell for those too many times. I know he was doing and saying anything to keep on being his supply. But one thing he said…. Is it possible that for once he was telling the truth? Are they self aware? He lied to me so profoundly, that there is no way I would contact him ever again. Hi, did your SP ever physically harm you? I read your comment here and my ex always said the same thing yours did with the begging and pleading..

Broken promises, but anytime I forgave her, it would still turn into the meanest and nastiest things being spewed at me and she was very violent.

And how the heck I allowed these things to unfold. Layla, no he did not. However, I have to tell you that he was leading a double life. I found out by accident; not part of his plan for me to discover that I was the other woman. That everything he told me was a lie. I was love bombed until I found out the truth. Most sociopaths tend to be self aware, and for me, that is even worse than not knowing, even if there is a little of the strange feeling that I am different.

But sociopaths are either proud of their emotionless self one day, and after one night of contemplating hate themselves the next. People have been pointing out to me that I need to leave the relationship and savr myself. I can already see that this will be hard but I have to start bettering myself today!

Free from being controlled any longer. I have been having nightmares of my ex SP eyes looking at me. Anyone else have nightmares like this? I think that I feel emotions, and I can understand how others feel. I think, sometimes I can put myself into other peoples shoes, like imagining if it was me there in such situation, and imagining how I would feel. Sometimes, what I imagined, is very different from what people actually felt. I hardly understand what is real friendship, because the kind you can read about in books seems to be idealistic and not real.

I do have friends, but I am unsure if I am really a good friend, do I do what friends do or not enough, hm. Somehow, I tend to black-or-white things.

I do not like lying and try to be honest. And, I try to improve myself often, like be kinder, be more understanding, try to understand forgiveness. I cannot say I love people.

However, in general, I only like people when I know them personally. Basically, I do not care for strangers much. If I help out a stranger, perhaps, my parents taught me i should do it. I am not sure I feel compassion or not.

I wanf to believe that I do, but really or am I lying to myself? I do not like children, but I try to tolerate them. I used to really hate them, so it is improvement. Most children make me sick, and I feel it is not normal. I do not recall being abused, at least, not physically.

I do not want to give birth, but probably would not mind to adopt. I do not know yet if I ever want kids, I do not understand why people have them. Sounds a bit selfish, looks not selfish but you saw the reason behind such wish. I have high IQ and am creative, I can basically do anything, so I am lost without direction; example — I draw, paint, play a couple musical instruments, sing, dance, act, model, take photos, make jewelry and silversmith, make ceramic and etc etc, also good at sciences and I am interested in it all!

I remember as an early teen being depressed, and seeing how life is so short, quick, and hardly any point to it, I tried to exit life but well, as you see, did not work.

I think I can feel love, even perhaps it is very innocent, naive sometimes, maybe childlike love — I do not know if other people feel same, or how they feel, because I literally cannot swap brains with them and live a day or two feeling and seeing the world the way they do.

I had a cat, loved him so very much, very sad after he died, feeling pain and empty. I always had problem with temper — quick to anger, ever since I can remember myself. I would stand angry next to my sleeping mother at night, waiting quietly for her to wake up so she sees how angry I am… I can write so much more, but just keep wondering, if I am a sociopath? Because I certainly think, I am not normal.

Thinking about visiting a psychologist to find out, but hardly find any time, especially that I want to research where I can do it anonymously. We still have a certain stigma about visiting mental healthcare professionals here.

If you think you are a sociopath, please look into with a professional. My ex tried ruining my life and was very close to being successful. Thank God for this forum and for a wonderful family that is a hell of a support system for me! Nikkie that is very interesting. My ex, a sociopath also hated kids and used to get really angry at times. But why do you think is that important for you to show your anger?

And have you ever had a real relationship where you felt love? After the second assault, he was charged, and was prohibited from returning to our home given the threat he posed.

He is a wealthy investment banker and hired a barrage of lawyers, one to prevent me from leaving the UK my newborn son. But then this man spent 2 years, draining me of much of my life savings, suing me for visitation.

After getting the visitation he wanted when I was unable to pay lawyers for 2 years as an unemployed single mother to a toddler , he has never once visited his son — not once in 7 years. So deeply concerned for the impact these false claims would have on me and my son, I took to the Internet and publicly set the record straight, noting that this man absolutely had an address for his son and refused to see him also documented in recorded calls.

This man, with his barrage of high-priced lawyers, managed to have Google remove from its EU search results the sites that made it clear that he was NOT, in fact, the father to a missing child and that his preposterous and malicious claims were just made to hide his abandonment of a child he has treated so cruelly.

I cannot even comprehend the mind-blowing audacity of this man. It enrages me, and I know first-hand just what a twisted liar he is, how convincingly he can persuade people, with his sincere voice and sheepish smile. But to have this man get away with making himself out to be a victim, with websites online that make it look to everyone that he loves and misses my son is just rubbing salt in the wound for a little boy who deserves none of this. My son deserves his privacy, his reputation, the right to be free from the insane lies of a sociopath who has treated him like unwanted trash while telling everyone he is a missing child!

I am beyond frustrated and so very much want to shout from a mountain top that this man is a sick liar who should not be believed, a man who has shattered my life and done so much to hurt his little boy while simultaneously taking to Twitter to publicly post outlandish messages to my son asking him how his day is, if he has a big Christmas tree, etc.

This man has done all he can to destroy my reputation in order to defend his own, and I am sure he has been convincing, particularly in my absence on another continent.

The stress of dealing with a sociopath who no doubt delights in the pain and damage his abusive lies create feels too much at times.

He always said he would punish me for having him arrested, for leaving him, and now, ten years later, he is still dangling my son over his head, even while he seems to be thriving in life. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thank you so much for sharing your story. This sounds like hell.

Beyond hell that you have been through. I did have a partner who hit me after I had a C section, but our daughter had died. So I understand how vulnerable you felt at that time. Merchant bankers…..

I am wondering, as he is in another country, does he have any power at all now? Are you safe in the US? As reading his website, is what he wants. Seems that is the only way that he can get to you and upset you. If you just ignored him, as you are in different countries, and your son has no relationship with him, would he just go away? I am sorry that you have been through this hell. I remember when my ex, after stealing from my bank account, me buying things for his daughter, thinking her mother was about to die, and she had to come live with us, he ran off….

He was a liar and a thief. I know that they will continue to cause carnage and damage to your life. I just wonder that if he is in another country — can he damage you anymore? Thanks so much for your response. I think your advice to ignore this monster is certainly helpful, and I have done this to a significant extent. He has had Google. Without going into all of the details, this man has done everything to destroy me, my career, and I have lived at the poverty level with his son as this guy has boasted online about his charitable work for children in need.

So I suppose this is why I feel so strongly about these outrageous websites online that make him appear to be this great father. It is just so frustrating and I wish I could let the world know the truth, but the louder I shout, the more I look like the nut while this man, with his gentle public demeanor, his sweet smile, looks like the poor father who so misses his son. The injustice of it pushes me to my breaking point at times. Well, thanks again for your advice and for taking the time.

I do really appreciate it. People who have not dealt with a sociopath cannot understand the frustration involved, cannot understand how someone who comes across as so charming and agreeable could be a violent monster behind closed doors. Thank you for understanding. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website.

These cookies do not store any personal information. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website. However you might have sociopathic traits: What is a sociopath? The identifying traits of a sociopath are: Superficial charm and good intelligence Having a lot of confidence and being the life and soul of any party Being bold and self-assured Rarely feeling guilt or shame Showing no remorse Constant lying An inflated sense of their own superiority A tendency to exaggerate, Being persistently unreliable Being impulsive, aggressive and reckless Failure to comply with social norms Absence of delusions and other signs of irrational thinking Absence of nervousness or anxiety Lack of remorse and shame Antisocial behaviour for no apparent reason Poor judgement and failure to learn by experience Egocentricity or inflated sense of own self worth Not able to grasp the concept of, or develop a capacity for, love A lack of reactions to the feelings of others Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead Not having any empathy for others Not able to read the emotions of others What makes a Sociopath?

What can you do if you have some sociopathic traits? How to boost your empathy, social awareness and capacity for love: Get fluent in the language of emotions : to be emotionally intelligent you have to be able to recognise and name your emotions, and then to understand what is going on. Let yourself be sad or angry or frustrated for a few moments while you count to ten or just breathe… then… Feel it in your body.

She is also the author of several books on careers and travel. Bridget is a qualified psychotherapist with an MsC in psychodynamic psychotherapy from Birkbeck, University of London. Leave a Reply Cancel reply Your email address will not be published. Subscribe to our newsletter. This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Close Privacy Overview This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website.